Worse than garlic breath

Esme calls her dad every night to say goodnight.
It has always felt like the right thing to do, to have her call him. If I were not with her I would want to hear her and say goodnight (that and when I don't have her call I get a text saying "is she calling?").
Anyway they always try to discuss their days, sometimes this goes better than other times, Esme struggles a bit to maintain focus on the phone. Tonight after asking about her day he said "I got some exciting news today, do you know what it is?"
My heart stopped just a little bit as I thought...oh no! (gasp) "his best friend" is coming back. But no, thank God! I'm not sure if the actual news was better or worse, or just an example of his typical thoughtlessness as he knows I'm there during these phone calls.
"Do you remember the garlic we planted last fall?" he says, (and I think "you mean the garlic we all planted together as a family last fall...as the beginning of our first family garden?" Why yes, I believe that feeling of my heart being ripped from my body indicates I do remember that.) Esme's much more subtle response was "yes!"
"The garlic is starting to grow!" he says...All I could think was that it's amazing anything good could come from that time. I honestly remember feeling so hopeful and happy that cold day that we all went down to the yard and planted the garlic. It was really fun to work together and for just those 20 minutes I thought "maybe moving here was the right thing to do."

But then there's the now so familiar feeling of my heart leaving the rest of me behind, floating somewhere all unprotected and confused. Kind of makes me wish I was more like that garlic. That the fruits of something I planted all those months ago had just been slowly, surely, safely growing. That it wasn't out here waving around and vulnerable. But alack and alas, I will never be garlicky. So instead I will have to wave around, bravely and proudly. Believing the seeds of something are growing. Maybe I can't even see them...but some day I will reap the fruits of all this labor!