Calamity Jennye

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Do they make air casts for a life?

So…big excitement, I got the boot off today!

I have to say I honestly sat there waiting for the doctor with completely equal parts excitement and terror. This boot and I have come so far together. As much as I am really aware of how cumbersome and inconvenient the boot is, it’s also given me a lot of great support.

I mean, really, I’ve learned to walk again thanks to that stupid boot. I feel pretty confident one of the little girls can’t re-break my foot during their couch-arm walking escapades, as long as that boot is there.
So, as I saw the doctor slide over toward the shelf of air casts after looking at the bone growing in the previous gap on my x-rays, there was some part of me that wanted to stop him. I never in a million years would have expected this but, doctor’s bills and amazing inconvenience aside I think this break couldn’t have come at a better time.

For 6 weeks I’ve had something else to focus on. I’ve had something practical and visible holding me back. I’ve had to focus on re-learning a skill that is so basic. No one has to ask why I’m occasionally a mess; well, just look at that huge thing on her foot, who wouldn’t be?

And now…as he puts on my foot this newer, sleeker, thing I’ve been striving for I’m not sure I’m ready. You know maybe I should just walk out in my boot and only wear the air cast at night in bed, or when I’m sitting on my couch? But no…there it is. And now, in moments, I’m going to have to walk out of here.

W-A-L-K out of here, with only these tiny pieces of plastic on either side of my foot…how can this be safe? Surely my bone will snap right off if it’s left out there all unprotected.

So the doctor left, all sunshine and encouragement, just up and left. At first I thought for sure he should have stayed to make sure I could still walk. But as I stood there contemplating my first step I realized it was probably better to fall on my face, or ass, or whatever I was about to fall on, alone.

So I stepped…and I stepped again, all the way out to reception, all the way out to my car. And I made it over to my friend’s house for dinner and I stepped all the way up their stairs. Then I sat down ‘cause my foot was bright purple. But I made it!

I walked. And just like the x rays showed, it’s true. I let my bone rest, and heal for 6 weeks and it grew back. I protected it, I was patient, I took it slower than I’ve ever taken anything in my life. And I think it’s paying off. It must be paying off because my doctor put me in the wimp category today and told me I don’t have to be so over-cautious.

Maybe I’m an idiot for not seeing this coming but there is of course a lesson here.

I’ve not gone totally crazy. Esme tried to sit on my foot tonight for a horsey ride and Alyssa and I nearly knocked the house down simultaneously screaming “wait, wait, wait!” I’m still not ready for everything all at once.
Just a little at a time. And I think that’s where I’m at with life as well.

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